What the Heck God.....are you serious?

Yes, this is a line that I have used so frequently in the past year. "What the heck God, are you serious?"  I'm sure He smiles the way I do when my kids question the things I do for them or to them. I know that my plans are greater than theirs and that I can see the big picture and they can't.  This makes my kids vulnerable and naive. I have compassion for them because I know they struggle to grasp why things have to be a certain way.  So I know that God loves me much more than I love my children and that He has much more compassion for my doubts and fears of the unknown.  A year ago everything that was comfortable to us was gone.  In one day a flood of fear and anger and hurt replaced the comfort and security.  You've heard the saying God works in mysterious ways.....well...this was becoming reality to me.  It all started about 8 years ago.  I was at MSJC plugging along with my classes.  I had already been married for a few years and had Ally.  I found out I was pregnant with Benny and I had to drop a whole semester worth of classes because I was extremely sick.  The smell of a cadaver is not okay when you are 2 months pregnant.  I was so sad that I couldn't finish my schooling when I wanted to.  At that time I knew that God was telling me to wait.  He was asking me to stay home with my small babies and enjoy them and to wait until they were in school to go to school.  I didn't like that at all.  That didn't fit into my plans. I fought the Lord on this for a whole year.  I continued to try and take classes. I failed a number of them because I was simply out of God's will.  I finally surrendered to the Lord and realized that I must be obedient.  So I did, for 7 years I stayed home and I waited.  Last January 2011 Bailey was in preschool 4 days a week and the other 2 kids were in school full time and I felt the Lord put on my heart to go back to school.  Having experienced the complete failure of going without the Lord's blessing I was really reluctant.  I prayed and prayed and prayed.  At that time, Ivan was working quite alot.  I didn't know how it would be possible for me to go to school with him gone as much as he was and his schedule was so unpredictable.  I prayed and told the Lord, "if it is your will for me to go to school then please change something with Ivan's schedule." This prayer went unanswered for 7 months.  I just waited. To me, that would be the "open door" that I needed as confirmation.  Then it came, and not in the way I ever imagined.  Isn't God so funny to do that.  He blindsided me.  As I reeled from our new circumstances, God spoke so clearly to me"....I gave you what you asked for."  It was the truth, I asked for a change, how dare I complain?  Yes, these new life changes really stunk but isn't God faithful to complete the work He starts? Yes, it hurts when you are tested by fire and pain, but doesn't God promise strength and blessing in the end? Everything seemed to be crumbling down around me, but yet the one thing in my life that was "working" was school.  God has parted the Red Sea for me. He has done the impossible to get me into classes that were seemingly hopeless.  He has allowed me the freedom to study and attend classses without the worry and stress of how our kids would be taken care of.  They are with Daddy....no daycare....what a blessing.  Do I wish things were different...easier....absolutely.  However, I trust that God has a plan in all of this.  I have faith that God will provide.  I trust that He has not led me down this path to abandon me but that I would prosper.  I have been back in school now for 1 year and God is continuing to get me through.  Hopefully soon I will be able to look back on this crazy path and see all the hidden gems that my emotion and craziness won't let me see right now.  That's my favorite part, coming out the other side and seeing God's hand move and how absolutely perfect it is!